... or, in other words, WTF to go now? *
Is this the right path, you wonder? Or is it the right person to follow down on what you think could be the right path? So many questions unanswered. So many possibilities. But isn't it the wonderfulness of life? This chill of (half) unpredictability? But what about the what if's? What about trying to be as much happy as you can for the longest period of time possible? Or is it better just to aim for absolute happiness whenever you can - even if those moments are sparse in time?
Cricket. Cricket. Cricket.
No one knows. No one can truly know.
Anyway, I'm going down on one of those paths this weekend. Maybe I'll have one less "what if" in my life. Maybe I'll really love that. Maybe I can fill a hot air balloon with all the bubbly weird things I've been feeling and just keep on feeling like this forever, up in the air. But, let's face it, I wouldn't like that that very much - and if you were in my shoes, you wouldn't either. We all want to evolve somehow. And so does our feelings. If they don't grow, don't evolve, they most surely die. Ouch. Let me explain:
Anyway, I'm going down on one of those paths this weekend. Maybe I'll have one less "what if" in my life. Maybe I'll really love that. Maybe I can fill a hot air balloon with all the bubbly weird things I've been feeling and just keep on feeling like this forever, up in the air. But, let's face it, I wouldn't like that that very much - and if you were in my shoes, you wouldn't either. We all want to evolve somehow. And so does our feelings. If they don't grow, don't evolve, they most surely die. Ouch. Let me explain:
I don't know about yours, faithful reader, but my feelings keep on growing. They grow in such a exponential rate that I'm afraid they might overtake what's left of me. Smother the rest of poor Laura. But there's nothing I can really do about it. I was born this way. I was born to love completely or not at all. And if we love completely, we love more with each passing day, with each new unveiled flaw: it is very easy to love virtuousness. I want to see you like the vices as well - because come one day, 'putting up with' won't be enough, honey.
I'm babbling here. I tend to do that now. And I don't wanna get out of bed (because of my wonderfully wonderful dreams). Oh dear, shoot the deer.
Anyways...
The point is, yes, let's capture the momentum. But let's also have space to grow. Let's build something solid together. Leaving a trail of bread crumbs isn't my idea of a solid future. I am more like the practical pig: no wolf is puffing down my little brick house when I'm done. Planning and building a future together could strengthen any relationship - or break them apart for good.
My last words of advice? Think of what you are about to do (not by yourself!! - think it over with you best gay pal - they are the best for fashion, naughty advice and life-changing decisions), drink 2L of water a day, sleep 8 hours a night, exercise and read a good book. And cut the sugar: it is evil. Trust me on this! It's been messing with me this week! Bwahahaha.
* There is a "right" answer, as you probably noticed. It is very easy and clear to choose if you just take a step back (or if it is not your life LOL). Clear your head of possible infatuations and take the real plunge. But what is real? That, my friend, only you can know.
