Happy Birthday Mom

Today is my mom's birthday. We made her breakfast - pancakes, juice, eggs, the works. There was cake.

It's been esentially a good day. We have some of those. My mom and I, we get along reasonably well, but like in all relationships, we have our bad days - and Merlin, when they are bad, they really are. Sometimes I feel that we don't speak the same language, even though we are from such a close generation, even though my friends are almost her age, even though I've dated people almost her age. We just don't get each other. Maybe it's not about the age. I hope not, since today she turns one year older - looking fabulous by the way. Kudos for my mom!

Sometimes I imagine how it would be like to hang out with my parents back in the days, when they were just young adults, like me. Go to a bar, drink, have fun. Without the parenthood hanging over our heads. They are really cool now, they should have been the talk of the party during the 70s, 80s. How cool would it be?

You know that thing that people say - you have to love your family? Not true. You love people because you do. Not because you are related to them. And I love my mom, just as a person can love another one. Happy Birthday, mom! <3

Obsessed in obsessing

Over a Saturday tea yesterday I came to a conclusion - okay, my best mate came to this life-changing epiphany: I'm obsessed about obsessing. Really. Looking back, I can see a clear pattern of disasters that reclaim themselves after this statment. I'll elaborate.

When a situation presents itself before me, if it really appeals to me, I'll suck it into my own particular dreamworld and obsess about it with such intesity that will drive my friends up the walls. But with the same intensity that it came, it can soon go away, just like that. Like a warm summer breeze that just passed by you. I won't even know how to explain what it was all about a couple of days later. Sad?

No, I'm not crazy! It's the intensity of the moment. The fury of passion. And it's not like I need a new toy every couple of days. I just need one that will hold my interest long enough. I try. I really do. But as my very smart friend pointed out, I might be trying too hard, or maybe trying in the wrong direction. He also told me I would make the weridest stalker: follow the stalkee flawlessly until "hey, it's no fun anymore, I give up". He has a twisted sense of humor.

The truth is, I always have at least a couple of obsessions in my life, to keep me going, you know? Like my personal talismans. One has been with me since I can remember: surgery. It's such a close relationship now that it's a part of me, of who I am. Others come and go. My most recent one, the topic of my Saturday tea, well, I acquired it this week. Merlin knows how long it will stick around. If things keep looking as gloomy as they've been so far, it might be just a summer breeze. I hope not, he's very cute.

 I have terrible obsessions. He's just not one of them. ;-)

Inquieta

Hoje estou inquieta.
E me rebuliço toda por dentro. Não me concentro. Nada flui. Tudo é estanque. O mundo está na minha contramão.
E eu só penso nela.
Bandida.